Not For Naught

Lyrics

When I hear some news of you,
When I see your pictures and your posts,
I think of you warmly
Just as I would any other old friend

I smile to think of you
Sharing good times with your friends and your family
And I hope that you’re living a good life
And doing all that you wanted

And when I stop to think about it,
I realize that the passage of time
has healed all my old wounds
I know it’s really cliché to say

Those days exist so far in my past
That time has rubbed all the sharp edges smooth
A tender erasure of pain,
leaving only fond memories to soothe

The reasons are hazy now
I know it sounds crazy how
I once carried my hurt like a sacred vow



I remark on my earlier self
but I find it’s like looking at somebody else
A yellowed photo from high school
Staring at me through the distance

I smile to think of you
So clueless and anguished and angry and sad
If I could send you a message
I’d tell you that everything ends up all right

And when I stop to think about it,
I realize that the passage of time
has turned me into another,
Replacing that earlier version of me

That person exists so far in my past
That time has burnished all of those edges
A merciful erasure of all of that pain,
A river of soothing forgetting…

The reasons are hazy now
I know it sounds crazy how
I carried my pain like a sacred vow

Everyone I’ve ever met, every emotion I’ve ever felt, every thing I’ve ever done
has made me who I am

I tip my hat at my complex past but I’m not at all feeling a bit harassed
I am who I am and I’m living in the present.

I look back on my anger at you
How I judged you incredibly harshly
I wanted you to be different.
You wanted my love… I withheld it.

But now I smile to think of you
Without a rose filter and on your own terms
And if I could reach back across all those years
I would say that I'm sorry…

And when I stop to think about it,
I realize that the passage of time
Made me into a version of you
With all of your strengths and your foibles

Those formative times were so far in my past
And time has buffed out all of my anger
A welcome erasure of all of that pain,
A river of soothing forgetting

The reasons are hazy now
I know it sounds crazy how
I carried my pride like a sacred vow.